First let me say to Kim and Kanye, I’m sorry to use you as an example for other people. No one wants to be the model for what not to do in a marriage. At their core, I do believe that they are both good, decent human beings as most of us are. The problem is simply this: when you receive an astronomical amount of attention everyday from millions of people, many of them worshiping and adoring you for doing basically nothing for them (I mean, has Kim or Kanye ever called to see how your day was? Dropped off some take out when you weren’t feeling well? Asked if you needed help on moving day?) you begin to believe that just by being you, you deserve love. When you get 150,000 “likes” just from posting a photo of your backside, it can easily convince you that your mere existence is a gift to others. You no longer think you have to give love in order to get it. In fact, your daily agenda quickly becomes finding ways to illicit more love and attention for yourself, and you develop a “taker” mentality. When you have two people in a marriage who both are focused on “taking love” instead of giving it, the relationship quickly and conclusively, crumbles.
Celebrities, often become Cursed when it comes to relationships. The reason, mainly, is that they expect their partner to act as their biggest fan. While it’s necessary, for example, for Kim to support Kanye in his music career, travel to see him, celebrate his triumphs and comfort him in disappointment, unlike a fan, she expects and deserves reciprocity from him. A marriage can only survive when each person puts the other one first. Love can only thrive when two people are more interested in the others well being above and beyond their own. With a power couple like Kimye, where each person is a brand and each day must be lived to keep that brand alive, the focus is simply going to be more on “me” than on “you, or even “we”.
Where did they go wrong?
In the beginning of their relationship, I’m sure everything was fine. In fact, due to money being no object, I’ll bet Kim and Kanye were just perfect. So what happened? It’s been reported that Kanye was in love with Kim at first site and spent years pining after her. So why did that change? Why couldn’t that love sustain during marriage? As many relationships go, Kim and Kanye were on their best behavior in the beginning, but as they grew comfortable in their marriage and began going through different hardships (her robbery, his hospitalization), their default personalities took over, and they ended up interacting with each other not with heart, but with ego. Let’s look at Kanye for example. Kanye saw Kim as a prize to be won. He had it all, except for her. She was the one thing that he wanted but couldn’t get. Then, he finally got her and what a boost to his manhood! It made him feel good about himself to have her as his own. But after that ego high wears off, there is a person, a partner, and a marriage that has to be tended to. He cannot go back to being the old Kanye because now he is someone’s husband and father. He has to think of THEM, instead of himself. However, the ego cannot do that. The ego is only interested in “self.” So if Kim is expecting him to be thoughtful, giving, and caring towards her, (as we all would hope our spouse would be), she’s going to be disappointed. Kanye’s main focus is going to Kanye. He will be completely self-involved as he always has been, and she really can’t fault him for it because he was that way when they met.
Kim on the other hand, wants to love and be loved, as we’ve all heard her proclaim. But again, you have to be more focused on the other person to make love grow. With two kids and an empire built around her name, face, body, and backside, how can she really have time for anyone else? It’s just not even possible. And it’s especially impossible when you are married to someone who commands just as much attention as you do.
The only way to save their marriage would be for one of them to give up their career to fully support and help grow the others’. And with two people like Kim and Kanye, that is just not likely to happen.
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