Last night was the YES WE CAN event. Myself and two other authors, Kerry Reichs and Cathy Alter, had a Q &A on dating and relationships. The infamous Miss A pulled questions from a hat that the audience had anonymously submitted. One of the very last questions to me was, “What do you do if the two guys in your funnel find out about each other? How do you tell them that you aren’t ready for an exclusive relationship without hurting their feelings and making them think you don’t like them?”
I wanted to start singing “Torn between two lovers” right then and there. But instead I told the audience about BUILD, BREAK, BUILD. That means you build the guy up, “Hey, I really like you a lot.” Then you give them the break, “I just don’t think were at a place where we can decide to be in a serious relationship yet.” And then build them up again, “But I’m really looking forward to spending Valentines Day with you.”
The crowd at the very least, got a kick out of it. But that is usually how I handle telling anyone bad news. When you have to tell a friend, a co-worker, or even 1/2 of your funnel, some news that is less than savory, use Build Break Build. I find that it makes you feel less awkward about delivering the message when you do it this way. I know that when you are put on the spot, you can fumble for words that will get you out of trouble, and make the other person save face. BBB can do that.
And if all else fails, just follow what George Constanza told his boss when he was asked about having sex with his cleaning lady on his desk at work… He looked around and in classic George form said, “Was that wrong?”