I fell in love with a great guy, and then he changed.

dating tips, dating website, dating coachDear Jess
Last year, I met a great guy. We dated for two months and it was bliss. He was funny and sweet, and he complimented me regularly. I completely fell in love with him. By the third month, something changed. He started to occasionally become moody and irritated with me. At one point he told me that I acted stuck-up unless I was drinking and that I needed to work out more and eat less. I didn’t know how to react. Half the time he’s a wonderful, amazing person. The other half, he’s mean and I feel like I have to walk on eggs shells. How do I get him back to being wonderful 100% of the time? Danielle.

Dear Danielle

How do you get him to wonderful 100% of the time? You don’t. No one can be wonderful 100% of the time. So on those off moments, when a man is not at his best, you are seeing him for who he really is. Just as a team is defined by it’s weakest link, a person is defined at his or her worst. Most people’s “worst” is not bad at all. Maybe a they are a bit grouchy in the morning before they have coffee, but that is not the same as moody and mean. You fell in love after two months of dating, and it seems you didn’t really know the guy yet. You fell in love with who you thought he was, and who he wanted you to see. Unfortunately, he can’t hide it any longer. Take him for who he is: mean, moody and downright degrading, or leave him.  It’s really that simple.

Jess

If you are tired of having the same bad luck when it comes to relationships, DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE IT! Email me at coach@jessmccann.com and get a one-on-one personal consulting session. Together we will figure out what you could be doing wrong, or what you can be doing better so you get the relationship you deserve.

Also check out my book, You Lost Him at Hello and learn the tricks of the trade — Filling your Funnel, Height of Impulse, Mirror Theory — so you can close the deal with any guy you want. Give yourself or a friend the best gift  – good advice. New! As of September 27, 2011 – You can follow me on Twitter@iamJessMcCann and check out my new book, Was it Something I Said, hitting stores January 2013.

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Posted in Breaking up, Dating Coach, Dating Tips, Dating Website | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

2 Responses to I fell in love with a great guy, and then he changed.

  1. Anonymous says:

    I agree. My boyfriend just told me that I'm 'not who he fell in love with' and I feel devistated. He hates the fact that I am a pessimist and other similar things. This article makes a good point that when you first fall in love with someone, you are not really seeing them for who they really are.

  2. Nicole says:

    This could be my story almost. Except he didn't turn mean, he bailed. We'd been going out for a couple of months: he loved me, I loved him, we were that couple that makes people throw up they're so sweet. Then out of no where, he gets distant for a few days, then decides his feelings have changed, he has too much going on, but he still loves me as a friend, maybe down the road (you know all the lines) and poof. We're over and I'm crushed and left not even knowing what really happened. This article nails it: it takes time to learn about someone and you can't let yourself get blinded by all the lovey dovey feelings to take the lessons. Had I been more aware, there were almost certainly signs he was a flake that I missed because I was too busy loving the facade.

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