Actually it’s neither. If you are wondering why Tierra acts the way she does, I can tell you why with certainty. She is not a bad person. She truly believes what she says when she declares, “They are all so mean to me! I haven’t done anything!” The problem is that Tierra has something that many women suffer from. After all, we all know women like her, don’t we? Attention needy, competitive, defensive, but then can be sweet as pie. You may wonder why some girls act like this, and if they are even conscious of their behavior. The answer is, no. They don’t know how they come across, because they have what I call, the Curse. No it’s not a spell, it’s just what I used to describe this mental state because it not only brings out a dark side, it also prevents people from finding love. Most Cursed women don’t know why their relationships never work out, so they usually say, “I must be cursed!” Hence the name.
The Curse is hard to explain in a 500 word blog, but in a nutshell, when you are Cursed, you only think about yourself and you only see things from your viewpoint. It’s almost impossible to see things from another person’s perspective. You may know people like this, but they only act self-centered some of the time. Their Curse may just come out in certain instances, like when boys are around, or when they are in competition at work, or perhaps when it comes to grades at school (and who knows, maybe Tierra’s Curse only surfaces while on Reality T.V.) But, suddenly your sweet best friend, becomes a darker version of themselves. You think, “What happened? Why did she change? Why does she get like this in these circumstances?” Well, that’s the Curse.
I guarantee that when Tierra was little she was a different person than she is now. As children, we are not Cursed. But as we grow up and experience life, the Curse slowly descends upon us. One way the Curse gets us is through our parents. Perhaps we were told over and over that we are SO beautiful and perfect, that when we went out into the world and others did not praise us similarly, we felt disappointed and disliked. When parents are too doting, they don’t realize they are teaching their children to receive love only, and not to give it. If this is Tierra’s case, she would then try her whole life to get love from a man…at any cost.
The Curse also happens when you are abandoned as a child, or neglected. You want love so bad that when you grow up, it is the only thing you want, and you will stop at nothing to get it. However, you again, are seeking only to receive love because you have not figured out that you actually have it to give.
Either way you get the Curse, your perspective of the world is seen through your own self-focused vision, and you are unable to be objective or put yourself in other people’s shoes. You believe good or bad, everything has to do with you – so you take everything personally. It’s what makes someone like Tierra act the way she does. Cursed individuals get their feelings hurt very easily and they crave attention constantly. The Curse always wants more for itself so you are never at peace. Cursed people often vacillate between feeling entitled and feeling victimized but it can often turn someone into a People Pleaser as well. You might think being a Pleaser is a selfless quality, but think again. The reason People Pleasers please is because the want something from you – attention, love, acceptance. So although it seems they are doing a good deed for another, the motivation is to gain something for themselves. Most forms of the Curse stem from craving attention from others, which is often confused with love. Those that are Cursed but not seeking attention, are living in a state of avoiding it out of fear of criticism or rejection.
Again, Tierra does not know how she comes off, and truly believes she’s being attacked for no reason other than jealousy. I guarantee she WANTS to be a good person who is likable, but as typical with all Cursed people, she does not know how. When you are Cursed, you’ve been thinking a certain way for so long, that you don’t know anything else. You are trapped in a thought-pattern you can’t break. And the real you is buried down deep inside and will not come out until you make a change to break the Curse.
Here are some signs of the Curse (they vary in people):
- You don’t have a lot of friends, or you change friends a lot. You may not even have a real best friend.
- Your relationships never work out. Usually they end in disaster.
- You are attracted to selfish people, users, or abusers. You only attract others who are Cursed.
- Deep down you feel like the world is against you.
- Deep down you feel like you are owed something.
- You worry that people will try to take advantage of you.
- You feel like others try to beat you or are in constant competition with you.
- You believe you are special, and more deserving than others.
- You only befriend people that you can benefit from. Or you only befriend people that need you and make you feel good about yourself.
- You shop a lot and find yourself wanting to buy things all the time.
- You constantly worry that others don’t like you.
- You constantly worry about how you are coming off.
This is just a short list of how the Curse manifests itself. If you are single, or in an unhappy relationship, and think you might be Cursed there is a way to change things. The Curse can absolutely be broken. I know, because I broke mine. If you are looking for the love of your life, and feel hopeless about ever finding him or her, consider personal coaching with me. You can contact me through my website with questions or to sign up for a session.
I will be releasing my next book, “The Curse: Why you don’t have the love you want” next year. Until then, please enjoy my other two books!