A few months ago, a new client asked me a very important question. “Why do some of your clients get married and others do not?” It got me thinking. What do my successful clients have in common, and what separates them from my clients that have not enjoyed the same kind of success?
I have thought about this before. Such a question, of course, always has many answers. People are different. They take advice differently. They listen and act differently. But what separates ultimate success from further frustration, failure and loneliness? Was it my clients’ willingness to self-improve that led them to love? Their perspective on relationships? Their resilience in time of disappointment? Actually, I have come to the conclusion that it isn’t any of those things. The answer, I think, is much simpler than that.
You see, the people who reach out to me have many problems in common. They have had difficulty finding love, and they usually see a negative pattern in all their relationships. They don’t know why the pattern keeps happening, which means they also do not know how to fix it. Most of the time I am able discern a lot of what is causing so much distress in just a few phone calls. But, just figuring the “why” behind their problem or pattern isn’t enough. As I am sure you all are aware, there are many, many pitfalls on the road to love, any one of which can end a relationship in a heartbeat. So, the real work comes after my diagnosis. Some people try to correct past mistakes and travel the road alone, only seeking more coaching when they stray or a big problem arises. Others, however, keep in close contact with me and have me walk them through the entire process- from how to meet someone, date appropriately, secure a commitment, and finally, get married. I have concluded that, right there, is the answer to the question of who is successful and who is not.
Since I have come to this conclusion, I have decided to change my coaching structure so that I can better and more effectively serve my clients, and they in turn can get better, and faster results. I am not a miracle worker (although a lot of my clients have disagreed when I say that) but I’m very certain that a longer term coaching program will work much better for any client desiring a healthy, happy relationship. Much like a trainer helping someone get in shape, it takes a time commitment on both sides, meeting regularly in order to stay on the right track and see results. Therefore, as of January 2018, I will stop doing single or package calls and emails, and I will be changing my business model to a six month coaching program for clients who are ready to make big changes in their love life. I do hope you will be one of them.
Whether you are single, actively dating, in a relationship, or even engaged or married, allow me to help you get the relationship you’ve always hoped for but have not yet achieved.
Here are the details of the 2018 Coaching Program:
Each month includes:
Two 50 minute coaching sessions via phone, Facetime, or in-person
Up to 10 emails for questions, updates, and advice
Emergency texting for time-sensitive situations
A full online dating profile make-over
One initial photo shoot with professional grade camera for profile (and you keep all the photos!)*
Relationship or couples counseling, as one or both of your sessions, if you are in a relationship (or when you get into one.)
Cost: (Currently offered only through Paypal) Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for the monthly subscription fee.
This new structure does mean that I can only take on a finite number of clients. Of course, I wish I could take on every woman (or man) in distress but being just one person, I have only so much time in a day. I will work on a first come, first served basis, and will go to a wait list for overflow. If you are interested and want to see if I have availability for you to join the program, please email me. And of course, if you have questions about the program, please do not hesitate to ask.
I hope you are as excited as I am with this new approach. I truly believe that it will be very beneficial for my clients, producing better and longer lasting results. I look forward to working with many of you and making 2018 the best year yet!
I just took on a new client earlier this month. She is my oldest client, well into her sixties, however, she also happens to be my smartest client. Not because she has an impressive career track, although she does. And not because she has more years of experience. When this client came to see me, she said something that no other client has ever said to me. Something that surprised me, and had me wishing for ten more just like her.
The first question I ask all new clients is, “How is your current dating situation?” To which the reply never falls far from, “It’s terrible!” Why it is terrible runs the gamut: He only calls once a week, he ignores me in public, he can’t say “I love you.” You name it, I’ve heard it. But this time was different. When I asked my fledgling client to describe her current dating situation to me she did not break out her basket of woes. She grinned from ear to ear and said, “It’s good! And I’m here to make sure it stays that way.”
It was a shock and a relief to hear. I can’t tell you how many women come to me for damage control. After they have been dumped, stood-up or cheated on, they come seeking my help. Which is fine. That’s what I am here for. However, the chances of really salvaging their current relationship are much lower. The damage is done and if it’s really bad, there isn’t much you can do with the wreckage except send it to the dumpster and move on. This woman had a different story. She had started dating a man a few weeks ago and knew she was going to fall for him. Instead of trying to land him herself, falling flat on her face and then running to me crying, she sought me out immediately stating she wanted to do things right. She wanted guidance so she did not repeat the mistakes of her past and the mistakes she sees so many other women make. We started coaching and within two days I was sent an email filled with elation. She told me I was a “miracle worker” and that her new man was suddenly expressing himself in ways he never was before. He told her he missed her and had been thinking about her non stop. After a week of coaching, his calls went from once a week to every other day, even when he was traveling on business.
Now of course, I feel wonderful that her situation has gone from good to great. However I really did not write this blog to pat myself on the back, or as a sales pitch to hire me as your dating coach. My point is this. Be proactive. Do not wait for the sky to fall before seeking help. By then, it’s much, much harder, and sometimes just too late to undue the disaster. If you find a guy you like, find help to guide you as well. Read books! Ask a friend! Just make sure it’s a friend with a documented track record of dating success. No blind leading the blind. Don’t start something hoping for the best and then hit the self-help aisle when you’ve made a big mess of things. Follow my new clients lead. I f things are going well, great! You have a good foundation to build on. Now, go get some help to ensure that this new relationship takes off without a hitch! Don’t get cocky and prideful thinking you can do it on your own this time, even though you’ve fallen on your face all the others. If you know that you have a rocky relationship past, suck it up and ask for help.
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