A twenty-eight year old woman sat on my couch today wanting to discuss one thing and one thing only: How could she avoid being alone forever? Christy was newly single and fearing the worst for her future. Her two favorite aunts, both in their sixties, never married. Her mother, had only been briefly wed to her father, but divorced before Christy’s second birthday. She was surrounded by smart, beautiful and educated women who had never found true love, and it scared her to death to think she would follow in their footsteps.
This is probably the biggest fear most single women have these days. Ironically, it is the fear itself that ends up keeping them from finding themselves a good partner and having a healthy relationship. Living in a state of fear, no matter what it’s from or what form it takes (paranoia, anxiety, anger to name a few), radiates an extremely stressful and tense persona. When your daily thoughts are consumed with fear, ask yourself the question, how can a man fall in love with me in this condition?
Many men want to find love, settle down, and start a family. I would say most men prefer this path. But they want to find a partner who is happy, loving, and confident. And being fearful all the time does not allow you to be any of those things. Perhaps you are waiting for the relationship to come so that you will stop being fearful and start being happy, loving, and confident. However, this is not a chicken and egg scenario. The relationship cannot come first. Content from within does. Only then will you be in a place that is able to attract another person.
How do you stop the fear?
To quote my favorite author, Eckhart Tolle, “Psychological fear is divorced from any real danger. You are here and now but your mind is in the future. You can always cope with the present moment, Continue reading
When should I text him back? Does he like me or is he just looking for a hook-up? How do I bring up the “relationship talk?” If you are a single gal in today’s dating world, you have undoubtedly searched for answers to these questions as well as hundreds of others. In the past you may have asked family and friends for their two cents on how to handle a guy, however these days you probably go straight to the number one source for all information – Google. Yes, unbeknown to even your closest confidants, you have been asking Google for help with your relationship. Why not? It’s so simple. You just type into the search bar, How do I find a boyfriend? and poof! Thirty billion answers await you! Wait. Thirty billion is a lot of answers.
You’ve posed a simple question, but you have not gotten the simple response you were looking for. Instead you find yourself sorting and skimming dozens of blogs, articles, and videos all to figure out how to respond to his ambiguous text message. You just want the answer to your specific question. Why is that so difficult?!? (Insert cry of frustration.)
I have very good news for you. You can now get the specific advice you need without having to read pages and pages of unrelated or irrelevant information. You can get your dating advice, a la carte! Similar to how itunes saved you from having to buy a whole album to get those 2-3 songs that you love, I’ve compiled the most popular dating and relationship questions and put all the answers in one place. My new book, Was It Something I Said: The answer to all your dating dilemmas is different from all other relationship books because it uses Question & Answer format so that you can easily find the advice you are looking for. The Table of Contents is laid out just like an Index; every question listed with a page number.
Here is a sample of some of the questions in the Table of Contents:
When should I text him?
How do I get him to stop texting and start calling?
Can I turn my one-night stand into a relationship?
How do I tell him I’m not ready for sex? Will he lose interest if I don’t have sex with him?
Can I add him as a friend on Facebook?
How do I strike up a conversation with him?
Can I ask about his past relationships? How do I bring that up?
How do I get my hook-up to take me on a real date?
Why did he suddenly become distant? What do I do now?
How should I react when he cancels on me?
The best part about this Q&A book is that you will get specific advice on how to approach each scenario. In many instances, I give you the actual wording needed so you can have smooth conversations with your guy and achieve the best possible outcome for yourself and your relationship. So many women struggle to find the best way to say something, but now you can get all the tools you need to handle love’s challenges, big or small![caption id="attachment_1685" align="alignleft" width="145"] Was It Something I Said? By Jess McCann[/caption]
And for those who asked How do I find a boyfriend, be sure to look out for the NEW REVISED and EXPANDED EDITION of You Lost Him at Hello: From Dating to I Do – Secret Strategies from one of America’s Top Dating Coaches, out in February 2013.