Actually it’s neither. If you are wondering why Tierra acts the way she does, I can tell you why with certainty. She is not a bad person. She truly believes what she says when she declares, “They are all so mean to me! I haven’t done anything!” The problem is that Tierra has something that many women suffer from. After all, we all know women like her, don’t we? Attention needy, competitive, defensive, but then can be sweet as pie. You may wonder why some girls act like this, and if they are even conscious of their behavior. The answer is, no. They don’t know how they come across, because they have what I call, the Curse. No it’s not a spell, it’s just what I used to describe this mental state because it not only brings out a dark side, it also prevents people from finding love. Most Cursed women don’t know why their relationships never work out, so they usually say, “I must be cursed!” Hence the name.
The Curse is hard to explain in a 500 word blog, but in a nutshell, when you are Cursed, you only think about yourself and you only see things from your viewpoint. It’s almost impossible to see things from another person’s perspective. You may know people like this, but they only act self-centered some of the time. Their Curse may just come out in certain instances, like when boys are around, or when they are in competition at work, or perhaps when it comes to grades at school (and who knows, maybe Tierra’s Curse only surfaces while on Reality T.V.) But, suddenly your sweet best friend, becomes a darker version of themselves. You think, “What happened? Why did she change? Why does she get like this in these circumstances?” Well, that’s the Curse.
I guarantee that when Tierra was little she was a different person than she is now. As children, we are not Cursed. But as we grow up and experience life, the Curse slowly descends upon us. One way the Curse gets us is through our parents. Perhaps we were told over and over that we are SO beautiful and perfect, that when we went out into the world and others did not praise us similarly, we felt disappointed and disliked. When parents are too doting, they don’t realize they are teaching their children to receive love only, and not to give it. If this is Tierra’s case, she would then try her whole life to get love from a man…at any cost.
The Curse also happens when you are abandoned as a child, or neglected. You want love so bad that when you grow up, it is the only thing you want, and you will stop at nothing to get it. However, you again, are seeking only to receive love because you have not figured out that you actually have it to give.
Either way you get the Curse, it’s what makes someone like Tierra act the way they do. They get their feelings hurt very easily and they crave attention constantly. The Curse always wants more for itself. The person who has the Curse doesn’t have the ability to think of others because the Curse keeps the focus only on yourself and what you want. Cursed people often vacilliate between feeling entitled and feeling victimized. The Curse can often turn someone into a People Pleaser, which you might think is a selfless quality, but think again. The reason People Pleasers please is because the want something from you – attention, love, acceptance. So although it seems they are doing a good deed for another, the motivation is to gain something for themselves. All forms of the Curse stem from craving attention, which is often confused with love.
Again, Tierra does not know how she comes off, and truly believes she’s being attacked for no reason other than jealousy. I guarantee she WANTS to be a good person who is likable, but as typical with all Cursed people, she does not know how. When you are Cursed, you’ve been thinking a certain way for so long, that you don’t know anything else. You are trapped in a thought-pattern you can’t break. And the real you is buried deep inside until you make a change to break the Curse.
Here are some signs of the Curse (they vary in people):