When you see the guy you like what happens? Do you coolly say hello and engage him in witty conversation? Or do you start to hyperventilate, and quickly search for a rock to crawl under? For many females, talking to men is an art they cannot seem to master. Of course we want to show off how smart and fun we are in the hopes of getting asked out, but when you’re tripping over your every word it seems impossible to make a good impression. Is there a way to get better at talking to guys? Can you make sure that your feet stay planted firmly on the ground instead of getting one stuck inside your mouth? Absolutely! Here are some tips to remember that should help you better your conversation skills with the object of your affection.
1. Don’t Force The Conversation. Even though you desperately want him to notice you so that he can hurry up and fall in love, it’s best not to try and force a conversation with any guy. Yes, you have to position yourself to allow a convo to happen, but if he walks by you and just says hello, don’t follow him or make up some excuse to stop him. Not having a conversation is better than having a forced or awkward one. You may get a second chance if you don’t talk this time, but you will surely be avoided if he walks away from an uncomfortable chat with you. Wait until the timing is right.
2. Stay Focused On Him. Although it may seem obvious to keep your attention on the guy when you talk, many women spend more time thinking about themselves coming off well and making a good impression than anything else. If your mind is constantly obsessing about what you are saying and how you’re being perceived, you will absolutely seem nervous, disengaging, and insecure. Don’t worry about yourself when you are in the midst of conversation. Stay completely present and shut down your analytical mind. If you don’t, you might miss something he says or forget to laugh at the joke he tried to make. Don’t think about you. Think about him.
3. Ask The Right Questions. Dale Carnegie pointed out years ago that everyone’s favorite subject is themselves. So asking a guy about his work, life, interests, and passions are all topics he’s sure to enjoy discussing. Don’t worry about being funny or witty – remember, that would be focusing on yourself again. Men like women who are happy and engaged, which means all you really have to do is smile and listen! That’s it. If you appear to be genuinely interested in what he has to say, he will walk away from the conversation feeling great…and who does he have to thank for that? You!
Once you have broken the initial ice with someone you like, there will be a bevy of little challenges that arise. How to respond to a cryptic text? When to tell a guy how you feel about him? What to say if he makes you feel insecure? All these conversations may seem uncomfortable but can be had with great ease! In my new book, Was It Something I Said? The Answer to All Your Dating Dilemmas, I tackle over 100 of the most frequently ask questions regarding hooking up, texting back and moving forward towards lasting commitment. If you aren’t sure what to say or how to say it, the answers are right inside. Here is a sneak peek of a few of the pages.
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When should I text him back? Does he like me or is he just looking for a hook-up? How do I bring up the “relationship talk?” If you are a single gal in today’s dating world, you have undoubtedly searched for answers to these questions as well as hundreds of others. In the past you may have asked family and friends for their two cents on how to handle a guy, however these days you probably go straight to the number one source for all information – Google. Yes, unbeknown to even your closest confidants, you have been asking Google for help with your relationship. Why not? It’s so simple. You just type into the search bar, How do I find a boyfriend? and poof! Thirty billion answers await you! Wait. Thirty billion is a lot of answers.
You’ve posed a simple question, but you have not gotten the simple response you were looking for. Instead you find yourself sorting and skimming dozens of blogs, articles, and videos all to figure out how to respond to his ambiguous text message. You just want the answer to your specific question. Why is that so difficult?!? (Insert cry of frustration.)
I have very good news for you. You can now get the specific advice you need without having to read pages and pages of unrelated or irrelevant information. You can get your dating advice, a la carte! Similar to how itunes saved you from having to buy a whole album to get those 2-3 songs that you love, I’ve compiled the most popular dating and relationship questions and put all the answers in one place. My new book, Was It Something I Said: The answer to all your dating dilemmas is different from all other relationship books because it uses Question & Answer format so that you can easily find the advice you are looking for. The Table of Contents is laid out just like an Index; every question listed with a page number.
Here is a sample of some of the questions in the Table of Contents:
When should I text him?
How do I get him to stop texting and start calling?
Can I turn my one-night stand into a relationship?
How do I tell him I’m not ready for sex? Will he lose interest if I don’t have sex with him?
Can I add him as a friend on Facebook?
How do I strike up a conversation with him?
Can I ask about his past relationships? How do I bring that up?
How do I get my hook-up to take me on a real date?
Why did he suddenly become distant? What do I do now?
How should I react when he cancels on me?
The best part about this Q&A book is that you will get specific advice on how to approach each scenario. In many instances, I give you the actual wording needed so you can have smooth conversations with your guy and achieve the best possible outcome for yourself and your relationship. So many women struggle to find the best way to say something, but now you can get all the tools you need to handle love’s challenges, big or small![caption id="attachment_1685" align="alignleft" width="145"] Was It Something I Said? By Jess McCann[/caption]
And for those who asked How do I find a boyfriend, be sure to look out for the NEW REVISED and EXPANDED EDITION of You Lost Him at Hello: From Dating to I Do – Secret Strategies from one of America’s Top Dating Coaches, out in February 2013.