From Hello to Hitched : The advice that led me to love.

cutecandiderik_jessOMG. I’m engaged. I know people get engaged everyday but for me this is truly extraordinary. I know I probably shouldn’t sound so shocked, in fact, some of you may even wonder how I can so confidently advise other women on how to find and keep a man if I didn’t think I was going to do it myself – but let me explain. I was never that girl growing up that dreamed about her wedding day. I never draped a pillow case over the back of my head and paraded around the living room pretending to be a bride. My approach to love has always been more… realistic. Which in some ways is good. It led me to the discovery that sales techniques could be applied to dating, which both empowered me and allowed me to have healthy, positive relationships. It led to writing my book, “You Lost Him at Hello” and that, of course, led to a satisfying career as a dating coach. Those are the positives. The negatives would be that I realized that I was a stubborn, critical, and abnormally picky person. I realized that relationships, no matter how symbiotic, are going to always include compromise. Most importantly, I realized “’til death do us part” is a long, long commitment to make. The truth is, I was very comfortable telling everyone else how to get married, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it myself…

Until now.

I remember every moment about the night I first met Erik. I remember talking to him for all of thirty seconds when this light bulb went off in my head. There is something about this guy, I thought. After knowing him only a week, I texted my best friend in San Diego and told her, “I think I just found my future husband.”

You know how most women say, ‘My husband is nothing like who I thought I would marry.’ Well, it’s completely eerie to say this, but Erik is exactly who I had been looking for my whole life. It’s as though I concocted him in my head and God said, “Here you go!” I told myself many years ago that I would roll solo through life rather than settle, and quite frankly when I hit thirty, I thought that would be my path. But in January of 2008 I took some advice that changed that plan.

How I found the love of my life Continue reading

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